
Recognition Instead of Praise: Success factor Empathy
Nowadays, hardly any job advertisement comes without a requirement for empathy. It is a key competence and can make the difference between good and bad in a company context.
It is not uncommon for the feedback culture and thus the entire corporate culture to depend on the empathic skills of the executives. But what actually is empathy and how can we cultivate and use it?
Surveys among employees of German companies confirm that our working environment is in desperate need of praise. Nowhere else do employees complain more about the lack of humaneness in everyday corporate life than in Germany. That everyone needs recognition, attention and love for a happy life is nothing new. Scientific experiments with infants have shown that infants cannot survive without attention and care. Indeed, attention is given greater importance than things like accommodation type or the availability of food.
While Germany is internationally considered to be industrially progressive, there seems to be a clear lack of interpersonal closeness in this country. Personal contact in everyday work has been handed over to instruments and devices. Online employee surveys and standard performance reviews lead away from bilateral, interpersonal exchange and interaction with one another. In this way we create an instrumental approach to people. Specific and spontaneous humaneness is avoided in companies for reasons of efficiency. A pseudo-humanity, which in no way can replace the necessary personal attention and recognition, is already part of everyday life.
Leading on distance
We also optimize the increasingly scarce time in daily work through remote guidance via online channels. The price we pay for this, however, is a lack of commitment, closeness and belonging to our work, to our colleagues or to the employer. The employees are dissatisfied, unmotivated, unproductive or leave the company.
Most of the older employees have already mentally resigned long ago, and the younger generation is not afraid to change employers. How can we as managers counteract this? The keyword is empathy. But how does this much-praised and most important competence of today’s manager work?

“Enjoying the joys of others and suffering with them – these are the best guides for man.”
(Albert Einstein)
Empathy is understood as the ability to tune in to another person’s emotions and thus understand them. Empathy is a compass. It navigates the way we deal with ourselves and with our fellow human beings. Clarity arises when we can empathize with another person’s emotional situation. The behavior of one’s discussion partner becomes more comprehensible and provides orientation, which in turn makes authentic and present interaction possible.
According to US economist Jeremy Rifkin, empathy is a process of development towards an ability that is most central to us as human beings, as it distinguishes itself from other mammals. Because from empathy, compassion can evolve. Compassion is a life attitude in which one recognizes oneself and one’s fellow human beings and accepts them as they are, without manipulation, without arrogance and without invalidation or evaluation. It lets us reflect on the fact that the problems that make life difficult for us also affect other people in one way or another, and that — in general terms — everyone goes through difficult phases.
How do I live empathy in everyday life?
In order to actually live empathy in everyday life, the following four steps have shown to be helpful:
- Be clear about yourself.
- Take the other seriously.
- Give the other person your full attention.
- Take time for each other and listen carefully.
What can be summarized clearly and compactly from the beginning is mostly the result of a lengthy development process. This is not the only reason why things like mindfulness training or meditation are gaining popularity in companies.
Empathy can heal
The compassion that arises through empathy strengthens the body and soul and brings about psychological robustness. Being open and empathetic has a positive effect on almost all organs and body systems. Inflammatory reactions, which occur more frequently with increased stress, occur less often or have the opportunity to heal.
Empathy brings communication in the company to life. It unites the organization and is one of the necessary pillars in transformation projects which are currently gaining popularity, such as “New Work”.
Nothing is just one-sided. A manager who tries to develop empathy must also learn to distance himself from other people’s emotions. But that doesn’t mean cutting oneself off from one’s own emotions or those of others. Frequently, a very pronounced empathy can lead to those affected feeling or actually being exploited.

Empathy and recognition
Many corporate employees repeatedly complain of stale, implausible and robotic phrases from their superiors. Serious praise or necessary appreciation fizzle out and can even have the opposite effect. In today’s digital age, anyone who wants to ensure that their
recognition does not degenerate into a thrashing of phrases, is well advised to look for an empathetic, warm and humane contact at eye level.
The acknowledging person does not judge his conversation partner, but rather expresses his positive impression of specific behaviors or actions. Recognition can always be given bilaterally. This is the hallmark of an exchange on an equal footing: It is reciprocal!
Recognition is empathic and honest, because it lets the recipient gain information — in contrast to praise which, for example, often contains empty phrases like “well done” or a pat on the back. It gives the recipient the opportunity to actually feel personally valued. He can learn from the recognition for his professional or personal development.
“Praise wants to manipulate, control externally, get someone else to do something that benefits the one who is praising.”
Source: Specialist journal “Personalführung” (September 2006 edition). The interview is conducted by Thomas Hartke (pp. 30 – 37)
In contrast to recognition, praise counteracts the independence and personal responsibility of the other person. Praise is used manipulatively and can have negative consequences. The misleading language used in praise leads to little attention. Instead, through recognition, appreciation can be achieved on a personal level, which is characterized by respect, trust and non-interference. To do this, however, the manager has to look at himself, observe himself and assess himself correctly.
Living recognition in everyday working life
Recognition can be recognized in everyday life by the following indicators. It is exclusively:
- positive
- appreciative
- concrete
- specific
- direct
- real
- honest
- empathic
The often invoked “sandwich feedback” is, from a psychological perspective, highly inefficient for target-oriented recognition. In sandwich feedback, positive phrases are used to wrap up critical comments. The recipient usually doesn’t hear the positive feedback because his attention will be focused on the negative. Most people cannot accept negative feedback, let alone implement it. The recognition only really works if it is given as exclusively positive and appreciative feedback. In order for the recognition to reinforce a certain behavior, its essential properties should be taken into account:
- Authenticity: I’m giving you feedback because I really appreciate what you’re doing.
- Honesty: I’ll tell you honestly what I think of your behavior.
- Empathy: I understand the efforts you put in your work. I know what your commitment means to me.
The comments should promptly follow the behavior and address specific behaviors that appear creditable.
Potential of recognition
“Recognition makes a person human.”
Source: Specialist journal “Personalführung” (September 2006 edition). The interview is conducted by Thomas Hartke (pp. 30 – 37)
By creating a common, mutual development atmosphere, the recognition contributes to operational and personal relaxation as well as to well-being. A practiced culture of recognition establishes equivalence on an equal footing and serves as a foundation of trust. Whereas praise increases the hierarchical gradient and creates a dependency on the manager. It is not uncommon for this to cause existing problems to worsen.
Recognition facilitates an effective error culture. Since it is bidirectional, managers also receives valuable feedback from their employees and benefit from this approach on several levels.
Self-check:
- When do I feel able to listen to my conversation partner and be emphatic?
- What kind of time am I having? Stressed? (Pre)occupied? Quiet?
- What is my personal energy balance like?
- How much interest do I have in my conversation partner / my co-workers?
- Which aspects of the behavior of my employees do I find really worthy of recognition?
- How do I respond to the dedication and commitment of my employees?
- How do I provide honest feedback on this?
- How often do I pay attention to people’s body language?
- How do I know that the other person is doing badly?
- How difficult is it for me to emotionally differentiate myself from other people?
Bibliography:
Reinhard K. Sprenger
- Mythos Motivation – Wege aus einer Sackgasse, Campus Verlag, 20th edition (September 10, 2014)
- Mit Lob bringt man die Freiheit um, Specialist journal “Personalführung” (September 2006 edition). Interview led by Thomas Hartke (p. 30 – 37)
Werner Bartens
- Empathy: Die Macht des Mitgefühls – Weshalb einfühlsame Menschen gesund und glücklich sind, Droemer Knaur Verlag, 1st edition (May 4, 2015)
Jeremy Rifkin
- Die empathische Zivilisation – Wege zu einem globalen Bewusstsein, Campus Verlag (January 18, 2010)